Like many, I feel youth a time of magic and wonder, of experimentation, success and failure. This is true of all life's days, but when we are "new" all of it seems "Moreso", because they are "firsts" in our unique experience of life. Like bobsledding - the sled races along a course, seemingly veering this way and that, wildly, and still on quite a focused path! As a girl, I think my track was more like a waterslide...warmer, more fun and kinder... it did not usually seem so wild, just a bit breezy and new, and getting splashed was fun, with plenty of fluffy towels to dry off later ! The adults around me at home, in the family circle, were fine , loving, creative and provided a good structure for the little lady that was me. Aunties, "Nannas", friends and teachers,and books, and most of all the wonders of life itself, and everthing so new. Even trouble and trauma was neat, in a way, because there was always a great scene of rescue, fix, care, and good talk about what we learned from adventures and misadventures. All created lively sidewalls along the track of my personal waterslide. "I want to play I want to jump I want to run around! Mother would sing that one at us, and smile, when it was time to NOT wiggle about, but time to be still and do a thing. How different it might have been, if she had been icy, and not warm and understanding! I cannot write a credit-to-women page, without crediting her first! From Mother and Father, there were good books on the shelf, and the freedom to enjoy them. "Done by Ellen", I wrote in toddler letters, with a mandala drawn in at it, for effect...on one or two of the flyleafs of the books I liked best. A holy book and one on romance and one about artists. As though I could not wait until I had grownup skills to be an author/illustrator, but had to have my name on it NOW. Just on our block, I soon learned the things re-iterated by study and my own experience in bigger worlds later: work and love came in all types, and each person did it differently, and all of it was grand! I still have the little felt jacket/vest, in pink and flowers, made for me by one neighbor, and the book of instructions on the woman-craft basics, given to me by another. Another neighbor "mommy" wrote for the newspaper, another taught music, and I studied under her for a time. And more. I have made "thank-you pages to some of them at this site, and hope to list more. By the time I was grown, I had honors in what I do, supplemented and developed, more seriously, by several teachers, who were important to me. All of it, for me, to fit in with my finding my one true love and making a good family life, in home, church and community. All of it almost stopped cold, for a while, when war and relocation stretched it all a bit father than I could reach, and time and focus as grownup, so typical, and yet so unique to me, in those days.....on Monday, the Silent Woman; on Tuesday, JumpingLady, but often by Wednesday, Grace, merrily in her path on her own personal waterslide. And that, too, took help from new friends and strange folk in a strange place, not be at all trusted, at first. And now, empty-nested, over it all from a too-soon widowhood, I like to share the delight in life found again, in my work and friends life, and recall it was like that , and moreso, for me with the Silent Woman and the JumpingLady a few times, getting there again. The thing is: in youth we believe, for some time, that once we are grown, the extreme challenges will be gone and the path predictable and then we learn differently, and not so happily. It is only later that we truly get to the point where we understand and welcome it all! ...well almost! :-) Here is a "today" one....From an honored and most experienced, respected internet biz/tech woman, and, thank goodness, not so silent! I think you will agree ! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ - Forget Your Weaknesses, Focus on your Strengths ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ By Elizabeth McGee I once read somewhere that Thomas Jefferson was not a very good public speaker, In fact, he hated it so much and was so bad at it that he wrote his state of the Union addresses but had them delivered by one of his staff. Would Thomas Jefferson have been a better leader or a more effective president if he would have worked on his public speaking weakness or should he have continued focusing on what he did best and worked to perfect that? Many might disagree, but I'd vote for the latter. We all have innate talents and abilities but they often go unnoticed or diminish because we tend to focus on our weaknesses; striving to make them better as opposed to working to perfect our talents. Why is that? It's probably because from a very early age we are told what it is we need to improve on. It's wonderful that we have talents but we seem to let our shortcomings take focus. We do ourselves a huge disservice by doing such things. Focusing on our weaknesses reduces our ability to excel and do great things with our talents. Our talents can move to the background and before you know it the talents become stale. Granted there are always things that we must work on in our lives to continue to keep ahead of the crowd but we shouldn't let it take away from the things we do best. Our weaknesses are often things that we don't like or don't have an aptitude for. If this is the case I say let it go, focus on your strengths. Of course, if it's a weakness that you want to excel at, go for it, but don't let it take away from what you are truly good at and enjoy. Corporate America is a great example of how we help people abandon their strengths. We continue to create inept employees by incorporating the practice of promoting them to their level of incapacity. In order to excel in your career most companies require employees to leave their expertise, or what they are good at, and force them into management or some other administrative capacity that pays a higher salary but may not suit them. If an employee has an expertise, why not let them continue to excel in that skill and let the people that are well suited for management do the management job. This is not to say that many skilled workers don't excel in management but we all know that many do not. It's a far better idea to me if we promote our workers in what they do best in than require them to switch gears and promote them into something they may or may not do well in. This concept becomes especially important particularly if you are starting your own business. I often see people become afraid to start a business because they place their skills and talents at the bottom of the list and put priority on what their weaknesses are. Let's say you are a talented jewelry maker but a terrible salesman, this may seem likea huge flaw, after all, sales are very important, however don't become sidetracked by trying to become a great salesman, instead find people that can help you make sales, find an alternative. Stay focused on your talent and let those better suited in their expertise to help you out. Be careful not to talk yourself out of doing something because of a skill or expertise you don't have. Stay focused on what you can do, what you do have, your talents and your strengths. Rid yourself of the negative, it's wasted, unproductive energy. Stay positive. Maintain a 'can do' attitude and the rest will take care of itself. By Elizabeth McGee, from: "Net Profits Central" - read it all online ! Girlhood Favorites: ELLEN CURTIS DEMOREST (1824-1898), built a New York fashion empire with her husband, William Jennings Demorest, and became the arbiter of style for women. Her development of an accurately sized paper pattern, and its mass distribution through Demorest's Illustrated Monthly and Mme. Demorest's Mirror of Fashions, revolutionized home dressmaking as the sewing machine became a common household fixture. The Demorests helped democratize American dress by placing high style within easy reach of the average woman. Ellen followed the path of thousands of women in dressmaking and millinery when her father provided her with the financial backing to open a millinery shop in Saratoga Springs, New York. Seeking greater opportunity, Ellen moved to Brooklyn and met her husband, widower, owner of Mme. Demorest's Emporium of Fashions, an enterprise begun with his first wife. Together, they expanded their business to a national market by launching a series of successful women's fashion magazines with tissue paper patterns in each issue. Ellen also added clothing lines and patterns for children and men. DEMOREST’S ILLUSTRATED MONTHLY The Demorests’ publishing empire was the vehicle for their business enterprises. Their flagship magazine, Demorest’s Illustrated Monthly and Mme. Demorest’s Mirror of Fashions brought to a growing female readership good fiction, information on the home, and the latest in European fashions in accurately sized and easy-to-use paper patterns for home dressmaking. Ellen Demorest took a special interest in improving women's lives. Her shops throughout the country employed thousands of women as sales agents and provided socially acceptable work for women. True to their commitment to racial equality, the Demorests employed African American women in their business on equal terms with white women. All workers, regardless of race, sat together in the workroom and received the same pay. Their enterprises became international, as Ellen opened offices in Paris and London, and printed and distributed paper patterns in foreign languages. Through their magazines, the paper pattern industry, and Emporium, the Demorests dominated the apparel business. Further Resources On Ellen Demorest, see Claudia B. Kidwell, Cutting a Fashionable Fit: Dressmakers’ Drafting Systems in the United States (Washington, D.C.: Smithsonian Institution, 1979); Joy Sanabel Emery, “Dreams on Paper,” in Barbara Burman, ed., The Culture of Sewing: Gender Consumption and Home Dressmaking (Oxford, Eng.: Bay Publishers, 1999); Notable American Women; John A. Garraty and Mark C. Carnes, eds., American National Biography (New York: Oxford Univ. Press, 1999); Caroline Bird, Enterprising Women (New York: Norton, 1976); Vare and Ptacek, Mothers of Invention; Frank Luther Mott, A History of American Magazines, 1865–1885, vol. 3 (Cambridge: Harvard Univ. Press, 1938); Anne L. Macdonald, Feminine Ingenuity: How Women Inventors Changed America (New York: Ballantine Press, 1992); and Anne Commire, ed., Women in World History: A Biographical Encyclopedia (Waterford, Conn.: Yorkin, 1999). See also Wendy Gamber, The Female Economy: The Millinery and Dressmaking Trades, 1860–1930 (Chicago: Univ. of Illinois Press, 1997). An obituary appears in the New York Times, August 11, 1898. See also Papers of Anna May Curtis Morris, Schlesinger Library, Harvard Univ., Cambridge, Mass. The only full-length biography is Ishbel Ross, Crusades and Crinolines: The Life and Times of Ellen Curtis Demorest and William Jennings Demorest (New York: Harper and Row, 1963); however, the accuracy of some of its information has been questioned.
Luciana Heineman, Connecticut Artist, Teacher and Lecturer, shares a wealth from the world of
painting...a favorite page from one of her workshops, below...
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Former British PM, Margaret Thatcher has been an enduring favorite. I liked her gracious, not stuffy manner, and her roots in Science...and keep this quote, attributed to her.
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Life and Death and Life and Death and LifeNotes on A Bereavement If you were blessed in your nature, or fortunate in your spiritual development, whatever your religious preferences, then your own death is less to be feared than the death of a loved one, and the latter a act of love, a walk to walk. As I approach my grey hairs time, and my own death is a thing to begin to develop as part of my reality, I realize that, as with most things, it will go better for me if I set goals and develop them , gently but firmly, as part of my day. If I do this part of it correctly, I can enjoy my death as sloughing-off of a cocoon I have outgrown, to free my spirit to join my God in the Grey Havens, Heaven, the Grand Cosmos, or whichever word one cares to use for it. The thought that I might reunite with the spirit of my late husband is an option...I love my neat family, and at mid-life, many of them have died, too...it would be lovely if I could see them again when I die, it makes my existence, dead or alive a no-lose proposition... If I have spent myself and shared good spirit with others and loved life as best I can, I may have left a fine spirit in people places and things on earth, something like film and image....something special that creates long after the creator has gone on to other things. My thoughts are not outre, unique or new. I will find and post here, short summaries of the range of approaches on the subject of death, past, present, and ?.... I have known great sorrow at the hands of Death, and the horror of the futility of the fight the normal soul puts up with God or the Fates on the subject, in knee-jerk reaction to the pain of sudden and bitter loss to death. I have experienced normal grievings and two abnormal ones, and will try to remember to distinguish between the two, here in this writing. By no means is this a a negative writing...it is not morbid, it is not a "down trip".........when life deals you lemons make lemonade.......may be a common old catchphrase, but most of us find that , if we were doing a nice life before our loss, very quickly, we reach for corrective to help regain balance and a normal life stride........... anything artsy-craftsy, creative, spiritually helpful, psychologically remedial. Anything within the law that heals has value! If it helps get a normal pace of things going, it has worth.........and that when it gets interesting.......and complicating, embroiling, exploitative, amazing, even miraculous, simple and simply luminous, enlightening, and sometimes comic, and incredibly dumb....but, miraculously, always clean, legal ,loving, high-integrity, not overstuffy, and achieving some good result, even super!....also, our need to adapt around a grief-block can force us into a road full of wrong turns, keeping the eyes open for a better path... fearful that it may not exist, or that we may miss it...............usually resulting in hair-curling symptoms of every sort....the strongest of us may find ourselves, suddenly a "sidecar Sally"....hanging-in through a wild ride, not of our choosing....a dance in red shoes, unable to stop....."Oh, nooooo!...not another widow movie...I'll be good!.....I thought when my bereavement from beloved spouse came the same year as "Terms of Endearment"....still hate it....touchy days!......I will keep all than in mind, nevertheless...... I mean to share the stories, in short-story form....many of them are really funny......absurd, the word!.........and most of them full of love, however makeshift or misbegotten.....and I will work to express them effectively, so someone besides the author can understand and appreciate them...if I do this page right, it should be worth the read.............................................elle 9-18-2003 ![]() Our children and myself a few months after my husband's death...a really good picture of three people who felt so bad it showed...to paraphrase our Tolkien of happier days, before and since:"...all that was green and good and light was gone, and we walked in shadow...but not alone." Image credit for "jumping lady", above: Lycos,offering the best in internet services. Thanks so much!
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