And finally ~ In Memoriam ~ My life has not been all that outré, but there are several who have been very special, and passed away: My Grandparents, an uncle, my Father, Husband, Alice Rentchsler, Johanna Murphy, and others.....but I must start here with Mary Kelly. The Late Mary Kelly gets part credit for my being alive today. I'd been away from hometown Fairfield, with my late husband, in very honored work, for twenty years, and most of those I partnered with were not around when I returned, so when an injury and its complications left me in pain and disoriented, until I could not work,I was suspected for a faker, or a drug addict, due to the bizarre behavior problems I was having, struggling to function with my injuries and burnout...chronic pain can be exhausting... my previously self-reliant self went through quite a bit. I took care for my bone and joint injuries, and yet seemed to get worse instead of better, finally suffering from extreme symptoms. X-rays showed little. And, ill and suffering, I was assigned a part-time job at the library where I had done my homework with a bow in my hair as a girl. I love libraries and this one was very special, keeper of some of Yale's Beineke book collection, and archive of early Native American and geneological data. I could often master my discomfort, and relate nicely to staff and public. I walked, often, and in pain, two miles to and from the job, in silent horror. In my position, search for adequate legal and medical help was worse than futile. Mary Kelly, of Fairfield Social Services, sometimes screened my case, and observed me. A few months before the accident, I had been helping in a paid position with the American Red Cross in ODS, and my fitness and skills were high, so I helped at the new women's shelter, in the same building at the time, since I could so little, anyway...through gritted teeth. Mary was not tall and almost squareshaped-round, a "working on it" on-the-job smoker, and could be a wise-cracker and strong in approach and speech...in fact, observing her with some of the scary types social services served, I sometimes felt the nurse and not the patient when it was my turn to sit with her...an old-time mighty-mite with a wallful of honors, an optional rolling pin, good husband and many children...and most -loved. She amazed me. "I have gotten to know you", she said, "and I see you are truly suffering"...My background was respected, and even through childhood. I was horrified to have my word doubted, and at a loss for how to help myself in this. All I could do was stay real and be grateful, if possible, when she said, " I am going to find money for your care right now." My first ray of light! I have random meds allergies and did not want medications, for fear of not being alert enough to save my own life in what, for this lady-type, had become a pretty scary world, with my health in jeopardy. With nothing more than heat, ice and analgesic for pain, by noon my ears were ringing from fear and and intense centering for poise. I had never had any hearing problems, and yet was being diagnosed with same. "Humor me, use this till they get you straight",she consoled. Mary got me a hearing aid from a Salvation Army cash grant and somewhere found the money for the MRI I needed, to responsibly diaganose my injuries. My own modest medical insurance lapsed when I could not work to meet the payments on it. The MRI showed clearly what I had been sufferring...vindicated! And soon after, I began receiving correct care, and disability money to help me. I am fine, now, and working, tidying legal blocks that piled up during the downside of the misadventure. I moved to Rockville, and the care at Elm Hill and now my apartment and work again, under some special pressures and so I did not know that Mary had died not long after our knowledge of one another...her weight and smoking, both of which she tried to improve, caught up with her too young. I could not be a girlfriend, she was heavyweight to my lightweight, but I served her in paid and volunteer work in the neighborhood while the work was done to get me the care I needed. Her Girls' HighSchool and mine were always opponents, ours used to have fun losing the hockey games to hers...."pretty-ing out", you might say. ....cats, cats, catsssssss. But thirty years later, thank goodness, the feelings were a little more grown up... or were they? I HAD been kept waiting for respectful care for months , and my skills put to work without fair payment, and disrespect on the side...:-) "them as knew are gone...." A mystery I may never solve. Mary Kelly's obituary in the CTPost: " KELLY - Mary Faith Jolson Kelly, the retired Director of Social Services for the Town of Fairfield, died on Thrusday, january 30, 1997 in St.Vincent's Medical Center. Born in Bridgeport, Mary had been a lifelong Fairfield resident. She was an Alumna of the Academy of Our Lady of Mercy, Lauralton Hall in Milford where she was a recipient of The Claven Award; and was the Director of the Patchworks Program. She was a graduate of Russell Sage College with a B.S. Degree in Education and received her Masters Degree from the University of Bridgeport. Prior to working for the Town of Fairfield, Mary had been a school teacher in both Norwalk and Fairfield. Active in many Town activities, she was a member of the Fairfield RTM, and had been a Supervisor with the Summer Recreation Department. She is survived by her five beloved children, Marty Kelly and his wife, Linda of Trumbull, Katie Moran and her husband, Michael of Oxford, Alfred Kelly and his wife, Donna of Bridgeport , Patrick Kelly and his wife Maureen of Orlando, Florida, and John Houlihan Kelly of Fairfield; five grandchildren, Michael, Daniel, Andrew, Sean and Shannon. She was predeceased by her brother the Most Rev. Alfred J. Jolson,S.J.the former Bishop of Iceland. Funeral services will be held on Monday, February 3, 1997 at 9:15 a.m., in the Spear Funeral Home, 39 South Benson Road, Fairfield and at 10a.m. in Saint Thomas Aquinas Church, Fairfield with a Mass of Christian Burial. Interment will be held at a later date in the Spring in St.Rose Cemetery, Newtown. Friends may call on Sunday from 3-5 and 7-9p.m. Memorial contributions may be made to a fund being established to create a scholarship in Mary's memoiry at Lauralton Hall. C/O Lauralton Hall, 200 High Street Milford, Ct 06460

and this one made it in, too...

Dedication: A high school haiku to my late handsome prince!

his life, our life, still
shining through our finest work
love's light triumphant!

Email: esfagan@ellefagan.com

Page credits: This site
... and Angelfire Web Pages - since 1999... and ellefagan.com is per the Angelfire's Aplus.net team!